Making Others Feel Special

pic from http://www.hem-of-his-garment-bible-study.org

Here's a leadership perspective I heard from author Betsy Myers, "People may not remember what you said or even what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel."  Emotions have a way of imprinting in our consciousness.  This also puts in view on how we relate with the people around us.  Good leaders motivate their people by also being sensitive with their feelings.  I notice that effective leaders talk to individuals as if there was no other agenda besides your concern.  They will zoom in to you and will do their best to immediately address a concern.

I am reminded by a Bible scene where Jesus called Zacchaeus who was up in a Sycamore tree. When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today (Luke 19:5)."

I can imagine how Zacchaeus must have felt.  I believe this is how the Lord relates to us.  He calls upon us and wants to be with us in the home of our hearts, as if we were the only agenda in His mind.  Let us then rejoice for we have a God who is omnipresent. He is ready to listen and make us truly feel special.

Your Servant is Listening

When Samuel went to sleep in his place,
the LORD came and revealed his presence,
calling out as before, "Samuel, Samuel!"
Samuel answered, "Speak, for your servant is listening." (1 Samuel 3:10)


When the Lord first revealed Himself to Samuel the prophet, Samuel did not recognize His voice and thought it was Eli calling Him.  Eli advised Samuel that it was the Lord calling. So, on the third time, Samuel recognized the Lord and said, "Speak, for your  servant is listening."


Here are some of my reflections:


1. We need a mentor.  Eli was Samuel's mentor and helped him in recognizing the voice of the Lord.  In our spiritual journey, when we do not seem to hear the Lord, the Lord has sends us people to help us hear Him.  That person may be a priest in your area, your prayer group leader, your parents, or a friend.


2. We need to obey. Samuel could have dismissed Eli's advise for visions and revelations were uncommon during Samuel's time.  But He followed Eli's advice and he recognized the Lord.  Obedience  requires discipline, commitment, and humility.  Most often, obedience does not require us to fully understand a situation, but to trust.  When we are given a new service assignment by our leaders, we do not fully understand yet why we were chosen or if ever we will succeed.  Often we only realize the wisdom when we have obeyed and proceeded with the service.


3. We need have a posture of servant.  The word servant had a deeper impact in the Ancient times.  It meant that you have no freedom and that you have been bought to do your master's bidding. So when Samuel said, "Speak for your servant is listening," he had the posture of being fully disposed of whatever the Lord wants Him to do.  Often, we are choosy. We complain and grumble.  The posture of a servant is humble and submissive.  It is through humble hearts where the Lord speaks loud and clear. 


Today let us listen to our Lord and do his bidding.

Listening Builds Trust

Today me and my wife spent the day listening to each other. Over coffee and cake, we had a pleasant afternoon revealing how we feel without judging or being defensive. Listening builds trust (B. Tracy).

Some tips I learned from Brian Tracy:
1. Do not cut the other person's sentence, instead pause after he/she speaks before you reply. This way the person you are talking to knows that you are thinking about what was said. And you actually get to sink in what was expressed to your heart and mind.
2. Ask Questions. To clarify by asking who, what, when, and where helps in getting the message right. It also signals the one you are listening to your genuinely being attentive.
3. Paraphrase. In your own words, tell the person what you have understood. Through this, he/she is convinced that you understand the explanation or the narration.

The ratio of listening to speaking should be 2:1, since we have 2 ears and 1 mouth. This way, we care, we learn and we gain wisdom.

Is our listening to others sincere? How much time do we spend listening to God?
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Your Servant Is Listening

I was on my way to Laguna riding a commuter van. During this 2-hour trip, at the point when most of us were about to fall asleep, one person in this cramped up van was singing...loudly. He didn't realize the sound level of his voice because he was using ear phones while listening to his mp3 player. All the while he must have thought that he was just whispering the song to himself. So, everyone in the van "secretly" smiled, trying their best to suppress the laughter. By the way, it went on for three(3) full songs before he became aware that he was doing a concert.

Reflecting on this, I realize that there are things in life that we listen to a lot, that we become deaf and blind to the reality that surround us. First, is that we often heed to our materialistic nature. We listen to a lot of ads on TV and in the internet that encourage us to buy the latest gadget, clothes, cars, properties and more. Influenced by media, we work hard to buy what we want, but we become deaf to the cry of the poor, who need us to help them find food to feed their family. "Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor(Proverbs 14:21)."


We listen to the promptings of our vices. We get addicted to smoking, drinking, drugs, and sins of the flesh, that we become deaf to the consequences of these actions...as long as we are happy for the moment. We are not conscious that as we destroy ourselves, we also destroy the lives of the people closest to us. "Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death (James 1:16)."


We listen, even pumping up the volume, to our pride. This is the least obvious because we won't even admit that we are consumed by our pride. It has always to be that, "the other one should humble himself first." The more we listen to our pride, the harder things will get. Healing will be hard to come by because forgiveness is already consumed by pride. "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2)."

Before we become a laughing stock of the enemy, we have to stop listening to the loud influence of the devil. Like the Singing Sirens of greek mythology, he will lure us to listen to his voice, until we are deaf to the Lord's call. Let us be conscious. We may already be developing apathy, addictions, and a hardened heart. "If today you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts (Hebrews 4:17)."

So what do we do? First, we strive hard to be attuned to His voice. This is done through constant prayer. We find time to meditate, to reflect on our day. We find time to give praise to Him. We ask the Lord to forgive our shortcomings and we thank Him for the love and mercy he bestows everyday. Second, we heed His call. In the daily gospel, there is always a call or a challenge that is given to us. When we respond to this challenge, we will find ourselves among His people, specially the poor. Third, we listen to His people. By serving others, we come to know Christ more. It is hard to humble ourselves and actually take time to listen to people's concerns. Specially taking the time to understand the person who has wronged us. This requires great humility. But by listening, we come to develop a heart that is easy to forgive and to love.

Let us listen to God more and embrace the reality of the mission He has set for us everyday. Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening (1 Samuel 3:9)."